Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Un Buen Viaje

Well, my kiddos continue to be as frustrating yet charming as always! Daily classroom experiences are something like: "Ms. K, say the word 'bag!'" (Apparently it's funny I say it 'beg.') "Ms. K, you remind me of orange"...no, not AN orange, just orange! He assured me this was a compliment (I didn't get to the fact I abhor that color.) Me-list some things you like about this class. Some responses: Your shoes, the way you say 'bag,' your accent, your patience (thank god someone noticed!) Also, some boys were playing around so I called them over: "Yes, Ms. K?" they ask, looking ever so angelic. "You have really cool eyes!" "Do not try and butter me up when I'm about to talk to you!" So, yes, they drive me crazy, but I love them for it.


So last weekend was Jen's birthday so we decided to go on a grand adventure to celebrate. Liz planned the tour to Paos, a volcano. The trip started something like this: Molly gets in with coffee and bagels for her and I. Tour guide Mike immediately freaks out talking for about 5 minutes (no joke) how he keeps his bus really clean, yadda, yadda, yadda. We promise not to drink it until we stop. Then, his OCD intensifies. We had to drop someone off at the bus stop first and he proceeds to go into grand detail as to all the locations Andrew could wait for the bus. At the coffe plantation we sat on some oxen! I'm going so save you some of the painful details and fast forward to Paos. It was a foggy day. "I don't think we'll be able to see the crater today. Hmmm, maybe we should just wait here until people leave and we can ask them if they saw anything." We tell him that we just want to leave and go somewhere else instead. OH NO. We park on the side of the road and stalk people as they leave! After flagging his second car, he is finally convinced we wouldn't be able to see anything. BUT WAIT, before he'll let us leave, he makes us get out to see "the poor man's umbrella." Apparently one has not lived until they have touched it. (It truly changed my life.) He kept wondering why none of us would sit in the front with him!

When we got to La Paz waterfall garden, we were SO excited to see he was going to follow us around! Liz and I attempted to go right but we were quickly corrected and told we must go to the left. While looking at the butterflies we were yelled at from across the room to start on the other side first! We saw some very cute animals: macaws, sloths, butterflies, leopards, lions, snakes....then we went to the waterfall. I was very sad that Mike did not descend the stairs with us. Finally left on our own, we enjoyed the peaceful beautiful of the waterfalls.

I am quite excited for my four day weekend coming up. We are renting a car and attempting to drive in this crazy country! Fear not Mom, we got the car with a GPS! Until next time...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Mis Erroritos

First of all, I don't even know if 'erroritos' is even a word but in my mind it is! (There I go, already making up words in Spanish! I have decided to give you all a laugh...at my expense of course. I have committed a few "tiny errors" aka, erroritos con mi Espanol.

Lucky for me, both errors have occurred with my Spanish teacher. (This actually just makes me wonder how many more blunders I've made and the person was too embarrassed to correct me...naw, best not to think about that!) El Primero: "Ok Kelsie, let's practice the preterit. Tell me when you spoke Spanish yesterday." So I was all prepared to tell him that, "Yesterday, I ordered food." (Ayer, ordeni comida.) What came out was, "Ayer, orini." So apparently, omitting a single 'D' will take you from 'I ordered' to 'I urinated.' Yep, that's right. I told my tutor, "Yesterday, I urinated." He was very happy to hear the news! Then he scooted further away from me...

That was last week. Today, I trumpt myself. We were talking about my swimming and I was telling him all about it. He asked me what the strokes were called. Now, I have a hard time remembering what you call the breaststroke in Spanish (can you predict where this is going?) I know it starts with PECH and I can never remember if it ends in an O or an A. Well, it being the breaststroke, I assumed it was feminine and put an A at the end. WRONG!!! He looked at me and asked again..then one more time...then was like, "OHH, pechO."  So I was like, "Ah, si, pecho." Then he asks me if I know what the other word means. Of course I did not, I thought it meant breastroke. He tells me it is a bad word, but he won't tell me what it means!!! I still don't know! None of my Spanish speaking friends are on Facebook for me to ask them either!

Then, I started thinking...I really thought I had had a similar talk with one of my students...then it hits me. I was talking with one of my boys about swimming and he didn't know the name of the strokes either...so I told him. Yep, probably called him a Vag-hole or something! PURA VIDA MAE!!!
Until next time...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

November?!?!

Where has the time gone? I have already been in lovely Costa Rica for 3 months! Mi vida esta bien. (Life is good.) Mi espanol: poco a poco... School is good; kids are still sweet, for the most part! One of my favorite students (yes, all teachers have favorites just like all parents have favorites) told me the other day, "Ms. K, you're like a second mom to me. Besides her you're the only other girl I trust." (insert AWWWWWWWW here) The other day the students were writing down some steps for writing equations. While everyone is silently copying them down, this same student calls out, "Ms. K, are you my friend?" Ah 6th graders...

I was in my classroom the other day when another teacher comes in and tells me I have a package in the office! I rush over there and find a surprise from some of my lovely friends!!! I open it to find an array of purple products all perfect for Halloween! I was showing some students and I gave them some of the stickers. They kept saying things such as, "Wow, your friends are SO nice!" "I wish I had friends like that!" "Wow Ms. K, you have really great friends." It was darling...then we got on the subject of how much we miss Target! (Side note: my kids are totally right, my friends rock! For those of you 'friends' who have yet to send me a package, fear not, I won't defriend you until December. You still have 2 months! That goes for family members too!)

One of my fellow teachers swims on a team here. She was telling me all about it so Jen and I decided to check it out. We show up and ring the bell. The door is opened a teeny tiny crack and someone looks at us. "Ugh, we'd like to swim?" I say in my amazing Spanish. She proceeds to tell us it's closed. I try to tell her we want to swim on the team to try it out. She proceeds to tell me it's closed; come back tomorrow morning. My Spanish has run out so we say fine. Then I ask her to call us a taxi, "No puedo. Mucho gusto." (I can't; my pleasure/thank you) I looked at Jen and was like, "Did she just 'mucho gusto' us and then slam the door in our faces?!" We left in search of our own taxi. We did decide to return though and we were almost turned away again but this time I refused to stop talking to her. WE SUCCEEDED! We swam and I joined the team! An Olympian is also on this team; luckily she trains in the afternoons!

The weekend we went to Jaco to celebrate Guy Fawkes (look him up; I'm too lazy to type his background here.) A British family at CDS plans it and invites the teachers so I rounded up a group of 13 and we went! Our place was amazing; especially compared to the hostels we've stayed at every other time we travel. I never left the hotel! We had a great casita right on the beach overlooking the ocean. I played in two tournaments: darts and horseshoes. We also rented some surf boards. NOW, I don't know what happened between now and last month when I learned how to surf, but I came to the realization that I need more lessons! Granted we had much lighter and smaller boards but the scene went something like this: Paddle, paddle, paddle, stand....and, if I managed to stand successfully, go no where. I literally would just stay anchored on the water while the wave crashed to shore. I came to the conclusion that the ocean cannot lift my ass!

Lastly, I know my Spanish isn't that great but apparently my English is crap too (I know, shocking, right?!) The other day I was having my students solve a story problem and it was much easier to understand with a picture. So I was walking around and a group needed help. "Where's your 'picture?'" I asked. "Pitcher? My pitcher?" one of them ever so innocently responded while not so successfully trying to hold back her giggles. They were, and still are, so entertained by the fact I say "pitcher" instead of "picture." Every now and then one of them will ask, "Ms. K, where's your PITCHER?" Nothing like getting English lessons from an 11 year old who speaks it as a SECOND language! Until next time...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Somebody Say Scuba?


Well this Monday we celebrated Columbus Day and even though I think this day is a crock, I still welcomed the day off! A hefty crew of us decided to set sail for the Caribbean this time: destination, Puerto Viejo. We had quite the ride, a bus for 20 or so; there were only 14 of us on the way there. Naturally, I did what I do best and slept most of the 5 hour ride. Sadly, I was unable to sleep the last 45 minutes due to the fact that the so called 'road' was less than ideal to drive upon. Somehow I managed to hold down my dinner and we arrived! Just in time for me to go to bed...again.

Then next morning we embarked on our adventure. After talking to our host, Pedro, all about scuba diving, we headed to the beach. After the beach someone got the grand idea of renting bikes and biking to Puerto Viejo. (We were staying in Manzanillo which is about 14km from Puerto Viejo.) It's funny how you don't notice the hills when you're driving! Before P.V., we were determined to find the chocolate farm we'd past on the the way in. We found the sign and made the turn and then looked up...far. Needless to say, the bikes got locked to a few trees and we started huffing it...literally. Good ole Pedro had assured us we didn't need to make a reservation because "this is Costa Rica." We finally found the place up on the side of the mountain. As soon as one of us were able to catch our breath and ask about a tour we were informed we needed a reservation. Damn you Pedro. Back to the bikes...

We never biked to P.V. thanks to the fact that someone smartened up and realized it'd be quite late and quite dark on our bike back. So, we headed back to Manzanillo. The next morning we headed to breakfast. I asked the man if they had cafe frio. He looked at me for a sec and said sure. Towards the end of our meal, I finally get my coffee. Turns out he was just keeping it in back to cool off before he gave it to me! The next morning we ate there as well. I ordered a regular coffee...it was probably 5 degrees warmer than my cafe frio! Pura Vida!

After the beach once again, we headed to scuba! We had our 'baptism' with our three instructors. It was an interesting experience. Too bad visibility was crappy that day; I only saw a few little fishies. It was rather cute to see Jen and Liz in front of me, swimming hand in hand the entire time! It was impossible to laugh though. As soon as we surfaced, poor Liz lost the Doritos she had eaten beforehand. Then, the ride home brought more of it up! She puked and rallied though! What a trooper!

We're taking a weekend off before heading back to Jaco to sharpen our surfing skills! Until next time...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Surf's Up!

I shall begin with a quick recap of the soccer game against the Varsity. Now, call me naive, but I really didn't expect to be one of two girls playing in the game. Well, JoAnne and I convinced one other chica to play; she then convinced the boys to let her be the 12th player on the field since she 'just takes up space.' (Her words, not mine!) There was only one small injury...caused by yours truly, go figure. In my defense, I cannot help it if my cleat hits his calf! The next day one of my students comes up to me, "Ms. K, my brother told me you kicked him!" Go figure, had to injure someone related to my student.


This last weekend we decided to head to the beach at Jaco. Now, we didn't really know too much about this place except for the fact that it wasn't supposed to be too nice. Well, it's only about 2 hours away and we decided to give it a go. Our bus pulls into the town and now we have our first decision...when do we get off? My call was to just get off at the next stop and walk till we found a good place to stay. Either the bus driver didn't like us or just enjoyed laughing at our attempts to get off the bus, because for two stops, he wouldn't open the back door to let us out! Luckily, by the third attempt, the door opened and we left the bus while the Tico behind us just continued to laugh at our expense.


We pass this interesting looking place while on our way to get breakfast. Liz goes and investigates. She returns to inform us that Jaco Joe has a place for us! Now, Jaco Joe is from Flordia, he has a curious black eye, a beer belly, and, of course, a beer in hand. Oh, and to top it all off, he has a tattoo with Pura Vida and Jaco Joe interwoven into it. As we walk to our place "Ken" catches our eye. We end up asking "Ken" about surf lessons. He makes a call and we've got ourselves lessons! I also convinced the guy to put our pic on the wall because we were his first customers! (The place was just opening and the office furniture was being delivered while we were there.)


Little to my surprise, I am just short of a surfing pro! I was successful in 'catching a wave' all by myself! No need for Mike, my instructor, sadly (see picture explanation to the right.) Liz and I really took to the whole Surfer Girl image and went and bought ourselves rash guards! In two weeks we are returning and we're just going to rent boards and take on the waves. We may not be the best surfers on the water, but damn it, at least our outfits will be cute!!!

This weekend we have a 3 day so are headed to Puerto Viejo. We hope to scuba and continue our exploration of this fine country! Until next time...

Side note: some of you have expressed difficulty in commenting on my wonderful entries. I found it easiest to just publish as annoymous and sign your name at the end of what you wrote. Good luck, ahem, Mom. ;)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Action Packed

So myself and two other muchachas decided to head to the stadium where the soccer games are played. It was a really important World Cup qualifying match against Mexico. We thought we'd watch it in a nearby bar and just soak up the excitement. Well, after Jen bought her soccer shirt (little boys by the way) we decided to scalp us some tickets! We got them super cheap and proceed to the enormous line. There, a man tells us about the special line for women up front...sounds fishy, I know. He was very convincing and answered all our questions so we went on a quest...and failed. Fools. So, we got back into the line and eventually got in! After Mexico scored their second goal, I mildly started to fear for my life. By their third goal, the only words out of people's mouths were those too inappropriate for me to type here. Needless to say, CR lost.


Ellen came down here for work the past weekend so she and I headed out to Manuel Antonio. We had the cushiest ride ever down there. Our own bus! The next morning we get up at the crack of dawn to go white water rafting. Now, here is where Ellen's story would differ from my own. Too bad for her, this is my blog! Elle and I were in front, cause the guide could tell we had skills. We hit this huge rock and I flew left, Ellen flew left. Too bad for her, her left meant the raging water! She claims I threw her overboard! HOWEVER, it was I who saved her ass, and her paddle!!! Some people are so ungrateful...

So the other day was CR's Independence Day. We celebrated the day before at our school. Another teacher and I had bought authentic CR outfits in San Jose and we were going to wear them to school this day. So I'm sitting at my desk, using the computer before the kids come. I look down and notice I can sorta see my leg through my dress. I run over to Steph's room..."Steph, I have a very personal question for you. Look at my ass, can you see my underwear?!" "Sorta," she said. Then she tries to tell me that you "can't really see it." Right, like I'm going to walk around a Middle School in a see through dress! Needless to say, I just wore the top that day. Some of my students arrive early and had already seen me in the dress though. "Ms. K, what happened to your skirt?" "Don't ask..."

Well this weekend we have our All School Family Picnic. The last event is a soccer match: teachers versus the Varsity team! Until next time...

Friday, September 4, 2009

La Fortuna

First of all, my battery charger for my laptop died. I have been without my computer for 2 weeks! Luckily, my lovely roommate is coming to visit this Sunday and bringing me a replacement! I am hoping she is bringing a really big suitcase because my "needs" list is rather lengthy!

School is going quite well; my kids are really fun. The other morning some boys were playing at the window (I'm on the first floor.) One boy was 'attempting' to pull the other through the slot in the window. Well, in walks one of my students with the pane of glass in his hands. "Ummm, Ms. Knudson, I think the glass broke." "Really, you think it broke?" Boys.

 The one tricky thing thus far has been the pharmacy. The problem probably comes for the fact that we just walk in without thinking anything through. Well my first encounter went something like this: Molly and I walk in and she tells the woman I need a pill. Then they both look at me and I say, "No bebes." It got the point across!

So the crew took our first vacaction this last weekend. We went to La Fortuna to visit Arenal, an active volcano. The ride up there was quite an experience. We took the city bus and there were moments when the woman next to Liz was praying for the bus driver to slow down. I mean, we only almost went off the edge about 3 times. Pura Vida!

Ahh, Pura Vida. The official slogan for Costa Rica. We have taken to saying it for any odd occurrence. -Should my chicken be this color? Pura Vida! -What exactly is this I'm about to order? Pura Vida! (turned out to be stomach! Thank good we didn't get it!) -Is the water safe to drink here? Pura Vida! You get the point!

Our trip was amazing. We first went to a waterfall and swam in the rain. After that, we went on a hike to see Arenal. It would have been the perfect clear evening to see the lava flowing down at night, but one of our crew got bit by ants and poofed up!!! We took an emergency trip to the pharmacy where they'll take you behind a curtain and shoot you up! Luckily he made a speedy recovery and was able to join us at the hot springs. We went to Baldi where they  have lots of pools full of water from hot springs. The higher up you go, the hotter the water. That was a lot of fun. We ordered our first round of drinks and the bartender never really returned. "Should we just leave without paying?" Pura Vida! That night we took a 'party bus' to the bar and danced the night away! For some of us, the ride home the next morning wasn't so pleasant!

Tomorrow we are off to take in the excitement of the Costa Rica vs Mexico soccer game! I am sure some craziness will ensue...fear not Mom, I will look out for everyone ;) Until next time...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Learning the Hard Way

Just wrapped up my 2nd day of teaching some middle schoolers math and I gotta say I think I'm gonna love it! Even though half the city had no power for the entire day and we taught with generators that were only powerful enough to insure we had water, not electricity, I made do! I think my poor little 6th graders are still to nervous to do anything too rebellious yet though! I was rather shocked today when the start of my class went something like this: As kids trickled in I just pointed to the white board and told them to start the warm-up problems. I looked around and, get this, they were ALL doing it!!! AMAZING!

This weekend was Mother's Day in Costa Rica. Here, it is a holiday. If it would have fallen on a weekday, we wouldn't have had school! Molly and I celebrated by visiting la feria in the morning and purchasing some fruits and veggies! (We desperately needed these. Case in point, our first "meal" was a disaster! "We better start the rice first cause it'll take awhile," I said. "Doesn't it only take 10 minutes?" Molly ever so innocently replied. "Uhhh, Molly, I don't think they have minute rice here." So then we also noticed they do not put cooking directions on the package! Apparently if you are Tico, you are born with the knowledge of how to properly cook rice! Well, instead of doing the obvious thing and look it up, we went with the initial idea of equal parts. Wrong! We ended up with 'rice al dente' but heavy on the dente. Then, I also decided to cook the pork we just bought. Molly bathed it in olive oil cause "that's how her Senora does it" (she used to live in Spain.) The meal ended up like this: a mixture of pork and rice which had no flavor so we decided to wrap it in our tortillas. Still sucked so we added some mozzarella cheese. All in all a big ole pile of white nastiness.) After the fair, we hung out at the pool with the families celebrating Mother's Day! We totally fit right in...

So I went on a hike the other day with some teachers from the school. Let me remind you that this is rainy season in Costa Rica. We start scaling away and all is good until the 'paved' part disappears and we are attempting to climb up a mud hill, which is at about a 60 degree angle. Seeing as how I was up in the clouds, I imagine someone heard my pleas and I was able to make it up. This, I thought, was the hard part. Then we had to go DOWN the damn mountain! I stupidly volunteered to go down the mud hill first. Let's just say I brought a small piece of the mountain back home with me! My booty was a little sore the next day. Whether it was from the fall or the actual climb, I'll never know.

And now, as I type, Molly and I are sitting in my room quite content. We have visited one of the most amazing places thus far, Price Smart. It is basically Costco but in Spanish! I came back with two wonderful jars of pickles! Although I am slightly bitter that Molly wouldn't let me buy the ginormous container of cheese balls I wanted! (I let her get her box of brownie mix that could feed a small army!)

Oh, one last thing. Some inquiring minds have wanted to know: I have yet to use any of the meds Marsha prescribed to me! Until next time...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Gecko!

First let's start out with this: How is one supposed to distinguish between Tico Time and, well, being on time? For example, we were told to be ready at 9, bus came at 9:30. Next day, be ready at 6, bus shows up at 5:50. Ay Dios mio!!!

Ok, ranting aside, the most wonderful thing happened in our apartment! We had a short-term pet! He was the cutest little gecko! Molly did not find him too cute when she woke up to him by her head one morning though! The next day I was recruited to remove the little tyke. Scenario went something like this: "Oh my god, Kelsie, he's in my closet! Get him! AGHHH...he moved."
"Alright, fear not, I've got this. Holy S***, he's a speedy little dude!" So, 20 minutes later and after completely clearing out Molly's closet, I somehow managed to scope Geiky into a ziploc bag and set him free on our balcony...minus part of his tail. Now, to those of you who know how deeply I care for the Geiko Gecko, you can imagine how much this meant to me! I miss him already.

I shall finish with one of my upstanding Spanish moments thus far. We all went out Thursday night before some of the group left to go to their campus up north. Well, we get to the bar and I peruse the menu. I've gotta get my fav drink on my first night out. Looking at the menu I spot it: Tequila Runrise. Interesting translation, I thought. The waiter comes to take my order and I had forgot to practice saying it in my head so it came out something like this, "Tequila RRRRRRRR-un-rrrre-saY" "Tequila Sunrise" the dude says and moves on. So apparently Runrise is NOT Spanish, it is simply a misprint on their menu! Glad I found that one out the hard way! Until next time...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I'm Heeere!!!

Ok, so I made it! All my luggage and all! When I went to check in the woman immediately knew where I was headed cause 2 other girls went through before me. "Did they have a lot of luggage?" I asked her. "Oh yeah. (Seeing my 5 pieces) Oh...not that much!" Luckily, Molly, my roommate, checked 4 pieces too! Were def the most luggaged roommates of the bunch; it took two cars to deliver us!

My place is so beautiful! I have the master bedroom with my own bathroom and balcony overlooking San Jose! At night it is so pretty all lit up! I have already broken the door off of my closet in attempts to slide it aside. Fear not, I have successfully learned how to tell the maitenence man, "My door is broke and it is under my bed. Sorry!" Oh, don't ask why it's under my bed, Molly and I thought it sounded like a good idea. Turns out it's about 2 feet longer...

So all of us arrived, expect for one...he is lost. All I can say is thank god it's not me cause I'd prob be curled up in a ball somewhere praying to the gods!


Ok, so we went shopping today. "It's sorta like a WalMart" we were told. Hmmm, maybe a WalMart circa 1985! My taste has dropped substantially and Molly and I were forced to remove ourselves for fear of being brainwashed when she tried telling me a floral pastley ugly thing was "kind cute" and maybe I should just get that for my comforter.


Apparently I am also the only one with a shoe problem. Case in point: "I brought a lot of shoes," I said to one of the girls. "Me too," she replied, "I brought 6 pairs." (I actually had this convo with 2 other girls as well!) But on a side note, I have noticed some very cute shoes from the Ticas who work at the school!


Lastly, I am happy to note that I will not completely melt away while here. Although...I can feel my hair expanding as I type! Until next time...

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Joys of Packing

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...if only it were that easy! Now, one may think the logical way of going about packing would be to follow the guidelines the school gave me. HOWEVER, I have noticed one significant mistake on the packing list: 2 pairs of shoes!!!!! Clearly they forgot the 0 behind the 2! If this is the case, then I am only 4-5 pairs over the suggested amount! Not bad if you know me and my shoes. I just hope the 20 or so I left behind understand...

I have lied; I am not all packed. Apparently my belongings take up a lot more room then I anticipated! Now, you are probably thinking I should leave a pair, or 15, of shoes behind. BUT, in my defense, my shoes only weigh 20 lbs (or was it 30?) Anywho, I am awaiting the arrival of my father, aka more luggage!

Oh, one more thing I did not think through...I couldn't find my pants today!!! Honestly, still don't know where they are. Guess I shouldn't have packed quite so thoroughly yet! Until next time...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Travel Clinic...

As I sit here and look at the lovely orange bracelet on my wrist (more on that later) I am taken back...to yesterday. I had my appointment with Marsha at the Travel Clinic. Now, I naively thought I'd go in, be told to wear sunscreen, and then ushered out to make room for the next lucky traveler.

Although Marsha was a wonderful woman, she left no room for side chatter. "OK, let's start talking about traveler's diarrhea," was one of the first things she said to me. Wonderful, I thought, one of my favorite things. She went on to tell me it is normal to have it when first moving somewhere new while your body adjusts, but if it continues for an extended period of time, I should take the prescription she gave me. "So, how long is normal?" I stupidly asked. "Oh, no more than a couple weeks," she nonchalantly replied. TWO WEEKS!!! I nearly crapped my pants right there. How on earth can two weeks of runny pooh be normal?! As if it to make it all better, she doubled my prescription saying I just might need it. Glorious...can't wait.

Now to the bracelet. I also need to take some Typhoid pills. As I type, live active typhoid something-or-others are in my fridge waiting to be digested by yours truly. These pills are taken every other day and they even gave me two stickers, one for the fridge, the other for my bathroom mirror, to remind me. As if this weren't enough, I also got a Lance Armstrong type bracelet, in blazing orange, which reads: Remember Oral Typhoid Vaccine. She assured me that if I wear the bracelet I will not forget the pills. I assured her, I do not wear orange.

Now, this afternoon I face another extremely important decision. I need to decide whether I should attempt to upkeep the red hair while away, or if I should raise the white flag now and succumb to the blonde...until next time

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Disclaimer!

For those of you reading this on a rather frequent basis, I must start with two important rules.
By reading this blog, you must agree to:
1-Ignore all the words Kelsie will undoubtedly use incorrectly (for example, I first had indoubtedly)
2-Pretend not to notice all the spelling errors spell check was unable to catch

ALSO:
It has been brought to my attention, thanks Sweet Cakes, that I will have a hard time keeping my naturally blond hair, red. SO, I also need to add that I shall try my best to fight the sun, but I fear I may lose. If this is true, it is now in writing that I did, in fact, start my adventure as a redhead.

Thank you for your understanding.